GROWING UP.....

Reflecting on the backdrop of incidences; 2013 was a year encompassed with nerve-wracking experiences which will leave an everlasting impression on my life. I was tossed under strong whirlpool of nightmares, which had slowly started to engulf the life within me. In short my life was in crisis; I was famished for happiness. My soul was aching to rediscover the vibrant, fun loving and confident person; I once used to be.  No matter how hard I tried, the emotional agony, I was inflicted with refused to leave me. That was when I found writing to be of some relief; I could easily vent my emotions without needing anyone to lend their ears to my emotional state of mind.

Sometimes when the grieving incidence of the present haunts me, I just close my eyes and go back to my childhood days spent in small village of Assam. Life wasn’t either easy there. Being a forest land; bordering Assam and Bhutan, my village was notorious for cradling terrorist, smugglers and some village goons. With no access to proper infrastructure, our village didn’t have water supplies and we had to live on the mercy of our neighbouring country for it. During the times of turmoil, I have seen my family toil hard even to get drinking water. In our village male members of the house had to travel miles to fetch drinking water from the river. While, the females of the household had to walk to the nearest drain like canal to wash cloths and if the water was scarce then they had to even take bath in the filthy water. The canal water would be filled with dirt’s and carcass of dead animals. There was a temple facing the canal and on the way to canal there were butcher shops, where everyday hundreds of slaughters took place. Not to talk about the slaughter of human life. But, the goddess of the temple stood silent in her porch so much like the people of the village. Deaths and murders had become so trivial issues that even children of our village were no longer terrorised by the sound of gun fire. Children of our village had matured more than their age and I know I was one of them.

We had one government school, where the teachers refused to show their face. The walls of the government school were like a crumpling monument, which housed climbers, lizards, insects, dogs and their fossils but not students. Thanks, to a kind educated lady who had started a primary school in my village which was a ray of hope to young children of the village, like me. I remember days when my brother and I were made to sit in veranda to study till the last speck of light of dusk as our village didn’t have electricity. My mother being an educated lady valued the importance of education. No matter the external conflicts going around in my village. I and my brother were made to sit on the bed with a lamp placed on cardboard beside us; we had to stoop to see the books and to get the alphabets correct on the faint dim light of lamp. Another terror apart from the terrorist which struck my village every year was Malaria. Every year malaria; would claim uncountable lives with vicious indifference and apathy. Every summer dispensaries would be packed with sick children, women and men regardless of their status. Summer would bring in the news of malaria sometimes devouring an entire family and leaving uncountable children orphaned. I myself have escaped death many times. My nine years of childhood days were spent battling malaria; due to my Midas fate and never give up attitude, I somehow managed to defeat malaria, but now I have realized that it has come to challenge my immunity to a great extent.

In spite of being in a place full of tensions and turmoil, my childhood days were something to cherish. There was certain calmness which has indeed become very hard for me to find now. I still remember running around my grandpa’s orchids wildly. What a carefree life it was. Sliding on hays meant for cows to discovering hidden treasures inside the tyres kept in the dirty store-room. I remember plotting a scene where my elder brother would act like a pirate, he had even painted his tooth black with marker and another fellow had used a broken glass found discarded on store-room, to give a wicked pirate feel. We had made boats out of tyres' and every time those wicked pirate would threaten us by moving the tyre, me and my friends would shudder with fear. On monsoons we would be ready with our paper boats to sail it in the puddle outside our veranda. But sadly now, I cannot even sail through a small puddle of my life’s trials and tribulations. As I open my eyes I realise life had so much struggles in the past as well. But I had not failed to appreciate its tiny delights at such a tender age. Coming back to my present state now I can truly understand my present situation and it brings a smile on my face because now I know that I am GROWING UP….. 

PS: MY deeply embedded thought....

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'' FINDING OUR REFLECTION IN SOMEONE ELSE ''

Finding a reflection -

I have been blogging since July, 2013 and some 4 months back a reader had commented on  my motivational post and had expressed his opinion about “ FINDING OUR REFLECTION IN SOMEONE ELSE.’’ We exchanged our opinions and after what it seemed like a never ending self-opined debate from both the sides. Our comments ended with a smiley. I had forgotten about all this, but  few days back our conversation came back ringing into my mind and it buzzed like “Finding our reflection in someone else’’

Everyone has their own unique characteristics and identities. We have our own fair share of struggles and sufferings. We shall not forget about happy moments too. Yah! I know we tend to emphasise more on our struggles rather then happy moments experienced by us. In this journey we do make close acquaintance with friends, colleagues’ close kin’s. There are people whom we may have known for ages but still find it very difficult to communicate. Speaking our mind and heart with them may seem like venturing into unknown territory full of doubts. And, sometimes we end up setting a chord with a person whom we have known just for a while. They are the kind of people who have seen the world through the same lens. Tough the intensity or circumstances of pain may have been varied. But it’s with people who has been in the same shoes we can vent our problems without embarrassment. They are the ones who listen to our emotional agony with compassion and empathy. They inspire us selflessly without being judgmental. Their words spread as a healing balm to our bruised soul and you breathe a new lease of life with their unconditional support and affection. That’s when we end up making a relation for lifetime. Though, the journey of life may evaporate their presence. But on a low sultry summer day when you close your eyes with heavy heart, you will strongly recollect the glory of having met “your true reflection someday’’

  

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JEALOUSY: “AN ILLEGAL SMUGGLERS OF OUR HAPPINESS”

 

How often have you experienced a wave of emotion, stabbing you sharply somewhere down your heart? I can say whenever we experience these sorts of emotion, we feel; we have been robbed of something, something which is impossible to get hold of, making us feel totally helpless. JEALOUSY- a thought in a negative frequency, which may not always come out as an outburst but rots inside our mind/heart, suffocating us with its pungent stench. – Jessica rediar

Now, you may ask me a question; how come, I am so sure that jealously is a negative feeling? I say of course it isJ. Do you experience the feeling of joy, positivity, happiness, contentment when you are jealous of someone? The answer to it is No. Some thoughts can be a root cause of our sorrows and uneasiness. These kinds of thoughts; even if its retained in our mind for short period of time may be harmful and is therefore a negative thought. So, jealousy is a negative feeling, not that we cannot control our thoughts of jealousy, we may have on particular person and his situations or his/her luck.

 THE COMMON REASONS FOR JEALOUSY: COMPARISON

Jealousy may be an outcome of comparison; when we compare ourselves with others (for eg: you may think Mr. Xyz has a nice house, car, perfect health ,loving and adoring wife, lovely kids while I lack in each and every sphere. At this point of time you may create a negative thought for that person, I hate that person. Mr.Xyz is flaunting is wealth and so on… Here, the problem doesn’t lies with Mr. Xyz or him flaunting his riches. It was because of our thoughts of jealousy that led us to dislike an innocent person)

One of my best friends had a break-up recently. She would call me to tell me what her ex-boyfriend did in facebook. She would check her notification every day, to see what he did on facebook. She had a track of each and every new friend he made along with their history, likes, schooling, and location. Moreover the situation worsened when he would make any comment on a picture of any girl. She would call me crying telling how her ex had liked and commented on a picture of a girl. While, he least bothered to even ask her, how she was? She would, cruse and hate the girl. She was jealous and hurt. Here, the problem with my friend was she was holding a naive girl and her ex responsible for her sorrows, while she herself was responsible for her sorrows. The jealousy she had was responsible for her sorrows. Sometimes it is very important for us to view things according to the perspective of others. With my friend and her boyfriend’s break-up, it was expected from my friends ex to move normally with his life, which my friend found very difficult to accept. She was boiling with jealousy and in-fact tormenting and troubling herself.

  It is very important for us to realise that jealousy can do us no good .The sooner we clear ourselves of this feeling, the better. J

Most of us might think lack of jealousy for any person or situation may make us less “AMBITIOUS”. I totally disagree with this sort of thinking.

 Let me give you an example of two best friends, A and B. Both A as well as B were exceptionally good in studies. Both very ambitiously started preparing for their 10^th standard exam. But, there was slight difference in thinking way of both. A was jealous of B. while preparing for exams, A always was scared and would get restless thinking B would out-do her in terms of rank . While, B concentrated on her studies and always resorted to improve her performance than her previous term. She would happily prepare for her exams without bothering for anybody’s rank or position. Both appeared for their exams. Report was out and both A and B scored 89%.But, do you think both were equally happy and enjoyed their process of studying? I don’t think so. A’s thought of jealousy for B; deprived her of the joy and enjoyment she could have experienced, if she would have prepared for her exams with much dedication to herself rather than being jealous of her friend’s progress.

So, friends life’s like that we sometimes deprive ourselves of the joy and happiness, by letting negative thoughts of jealousy to invade our mind and hamper our whole system .It’s impact in our life can be so grave and severe. It can sometimes paralyse our just and rational way of thinking, making us do things which can never be abated nor any sort of repentance can justify or undo our actions. So, one should always be mindful of one’s thinking process. We should always try to avoid being jealous of anyone because jealousy will stab us viciously and will drain the blood of happiness from us and will make us Anaemic and lifeless forever J

Dear readers, I hope you liked my way of depicting this article on “JEALOUSY-AN ILLEGAL SMUGGLER OF OUR HAPPINESS” with the help of examples. These examples are inspired by real life but I have chosen not to name the characters in order to keep their privacy intact. Here, I have made an effort to cite that jealousy is in fact the parasite of happiness.

NOTE FROM WRITER (Jessica Rediar ) : With loveJ

Buddies, you may hold different perspective on the topic of jealousy. Which situations may lead to the thoughts of jealousy in different persons and their intensity and degrees is totally a subjective issues, which is why I have chosen to keep this subjective issues asideJ. In this article I have simply made a point that jealousy is an illegal smuggler of our happiness therefore the thoughts and feelings of jealously should immediately be discarded and closed forever. J

      

 

Friends, I hope you liked reading my article. Please feel free to share it if you like it. Your comments and opinions are heartily welcomedJ. I love to hear from you all, you can also drop in your messages in my facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. Until then stay happy, spread happiness and stay healthy tk cr J

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YOU MAY ALSO LIKE READING: http://jessicarediar91.blogspot.in/2013/09/five-easy-ways-to-get-motivated.html

http://jessicarediar91.blogspot.in/2013/08/6-six-easy-ways-to-deal-with-post-break.html

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF ISOLATION ? " FIVE EASY WAYS TO DEAL WITH ISOLATION "

“Isolation” the word itself brings a shudder down our spine. We generally tend to associate the feeling of being isolated, loneliness as some kind of mental disease. Especially in today’s jet paced pragmatic life, talking about isolation and loneliness has become a taboo. You might feel inferior when you talk about your feelings of isolation, as you may not find people in the same rhythm. You may come across people who are totally ambitious, running after wealth and prospering in their career. So, it may seem futile to talk to people because you may think that they have never been on your shoes. But the problem here doesn't lie with the people around us. It’s within us. Well, we shouldn't be ashamed of our inner feelings. There is no harm in feeling lonely or isolated, every one of us experience loneliness from time to time. Now a question occurs. How do we know that we are experiencing loneliness? Well, our feelings are a direct transmitter of our emotions. For e.g.: Think of your birthday celebration, with the person you love most in your life. Now check your feelings; your happiness will be at its peak, you will experience a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment. Now reverse the scenario, imagine a situation when the person you love most, misses your birthday and even forgets to wish you. Now re-check your feeling, you probably will be oozing with sadness and disappointments. Loneliness comes not necessarily when you're alone, but when you feel as if you don't have someone who really knows you and supports you.

Tormented childhood, bullying by mates, facing ragging during school and college days, break-ups, abusive relationships and marriages, facing constant failures in life, isolation and solitude during old age may be the reasons for experiencing “ISOLATION” in life.

Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted – common symptoms of loneliness.                                        
                      One may have a negative attitude toward relationships.

·        Waking up every morning with a feeling of sadness and going off to bed with a same sad feeling.

·     The reason of your sadness lingers on your brain 24x7. No matter how hard you try to avoid those thoughts cropping in your mind; it’s persistent and very stubborn and refuses to leave your mind.

·        Crying and sobbing helplessly for hours.

·        Losing focus, ambitions and zest to work.

·        Feeling of despair about your friendships.

·        Feeling sad about lack of friends.

·        Feelings of anger when other people are happy.

·        The general feeling that you aren't part of "the crowd" or "a group."

·        Feeling as if you aren't accepted in the world.

                          Feeling as if you are "too different" to have friends

       The sooner you identify your problems of isolation, the better J

Now, let me give you a brief idea on what we mostly do, to overcome loneliness. We literally push ourselves into world of activity. Keeping ourselves busy becomes the ultimate motto of our life. We throw ourselves into work, we may even think, “I want to be so busy that I shouldn't have time even to breathe also.” And, what most of us might experience when we dive into series of activities is that we may feel happy and changed due to certain new activities, for first few days. But after few days you might experience those suppressed feelings of yours’ attacking you viciously and crippling your confidence totally. The change will be short-lived because all this while what you try to do is suppress your feelings into the bondage of work. Perhaps, this is because you don’t want to slow down enough to fully realize how lonely you are. (Relax friends; I know keeping ourselves busy can help us overcome our loneliness to some extent. But, if you don’t want to give yourself time to breath, how will you live? ).

Please, don’t live a mechanical life. You should realize the ill effects of constantly agonizing yourself. You may be the victim of depression. You may want to seek relief through drug addiction and alcohol.You should totally avoid such kind of circumstances in your life. Just because you had to experience something bad and tormenting in your life, doesn't mean that you will stop living. Friends, I will guide you through “5 easy ways to deal with isolation”.

JOIN A COURSE- Enroll yourself for some profession or vocational course. The major benefit of it is that you are exposed to a stringent time table. That leaves less time for you to wander your thoughts in negative directions. Joining a class exposes you to group of people and help you inculcate the bond of friendships with fellow class mates. Joining a class gives you a purpose and new direction to your life along with the feeling of self-worth.

MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND RE-ESTABLISH THE LOST CAMARADERIE WITH YOUR OLD BUDDIES -True friends can come as a savior at times of loneliness. You may be surrounded by many friends, yet you may feel lonely (let me give you an example; it’s like being in a musical theatre without hearing and feeling the melody. Life is also like that; you may be surrounded by scores of friends but if you cannot connect to them you won’t able to share your feelings and enjoy your bond). So, make an effort to deepen your connections with your friends and family members.

GET A PET –Get a pet; a dog or a cat. Getting a pet is a great way to shoo away loneliness from your life. Your new addition to your family will brighten up your life and keep you on your heels :D. You will be left to discover new traits and mood swings of your new pet, leaving you overwhelmed and happy from within. Besides, pets provide you their unconditional and selfless love which comes as a healing balm for loneliness.

VOLUNTEER – you can choose to volunteer for a cause you believe in. The cause will link you to many new people. Where, you can meet people who share at least one of your interests. Be a part of group activities and services. Low self-esteem is one of the major symptoms that loneliness accompanies with it. Being a part of a cause will in fact give boost your confidence and fill you with contentment. Moreover serving people who are less privileged than you will help you to value what you have in life.

YOU CAN FIND FRIENDS ONLINE- In today’s virtual world one can look for support online. You may not know your neighbour living next door, but will be connected to unknown persons living miles away from you. All thanks to the magic of the internet J. You can find lasting friendship and real support from people you meet online. You can even create community page online and add your friends and folks which may serve as loneliness fighter and give you some new zest in life. However you should be very cautious as to whom you share your personal information over the internet.

Hello friends, I hope my article will help you. If you like my article, feel free to share it J. Your comments and opinions are heartily welcomed; you can even drop in your feedback and messages in my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. I love to hear from you all J. Until than love yourself, stay healthy and spread happiness. Bye tk cr J 

" FIVE EASY WAYS TO GET MOTIVATED "

DREAM BIG, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IF YOU TRY BECAUSE YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY

There may come a point in our life, when we ask ourselves, “What is wrong with me”? What is the reason that is pulling me back? What are the reasons for my failures and inefficiencies? At that point of time you may experience random thoughts attacking you like a buzzing bee, and hurting your heart with its venomous stings. Leaving you; in a “PANIC STATE OF MIND”. If these sorts of thoughts and questions triggers in your mind, at any point of time than self-motivation and self-counselling must be your call. Now, there may be a question running in your brain. Why self-counselling? I say, yes! Why not? You can’t afford to run to a counsellor every time your mind has a panic attack. Even; if you can. I bet you would love least to share your deep dark secrets, fears, anxieties to someone else. Wouldn't it be amazing? That every time, we experience, “Panic Attacks.” We could deal with it ourselves.

My dear friends, in today’s article I will guide you into ways through which you can empower your mind in such a way, that you will be able to withstand any sort of crisis, failures and disappointments. My article is about “FIVE EASY WAYS TO GET MOTIVATED”

Before, starting our steps; let me give you a brief idea on how most of our mind works. One of the major disaster we tend to commit every time is that we think we will fail, we tend to retreat into a cocoon of fear and anxieties. We start comparing our life with that of our friends, kin’s or people we admire. For eg: we may think, my friend is a doctor, he earns well, he has a stable career and his life is promising. In the end we draw a conclusion in our mind that “My friend’s life is perfect”, whereas my life is useless and pathetic. At that point of time, what you do is that you have set your thoughts into a negative frequency. Your fear will in fact create some more fears. Trust me this fear of yours will indeed leave you dejected and in a state of mind where you will want to get everything in a haste. You may even want to jump off your seat and dash directly into your plan of action. But, the problem here is; how long the energy created by you at that point of time will last? Because the energy was out of jealousy, let me simplify it further or out of competitive nature of yours, or out of your own desires. This is your life. Not your friends. So, why compare your life with his/hers?

First, learn to respect yourself (Remember! Here respect doesn’t mean that you will soar high with over-confidence). Accept yourself; the way you are J because that will set you into a correct frequency i.e you will create a positive feeling about yourself. You will be able to channelize your positivity and happiness into a wider array to accomplish your dreams’ I firmly believe “HAPPINESS STARTS FROM WITHIN.” There may be a question in your mind, why a topic of happiness popping up, while we are discussing motivational tips. It’s because first we need to sooth our brain and come out of our inferior attitude. This happens when we accept ourself, and believe in our own capabilities and not compare our life with others. Now, let’s get started J

Step 1: Relax yourself, it’s never too late to start; given you are doing something with lot of perseverance and honesty. Sit in your study. Close your eyes for few minutes. Reflect on things that are bothering you. You will get a crystal clear image of everything you want. It may be things related to your ambitions,your career,business,getting good grades in your acadamics, promotions or simply getting a correct presentation for your office.

Step 2: Get a piece of paper and start writing things that you want to achieve. Get your priorities right. The thing that you want most, must top your list. Now take a piece of paper, big enough (I prefer A4 size paper)  and write what you want most. For eg: I want 98% in my class 10 exams, or I want to heal myself. You should write the things that you want to achieve. You may also add a dash of your creativity in that paper along with your quote. You can use sketch pens to make your diagram all more creative and appealing. J 

Step 3: choose a suitable wall in your room, where you can paste that paper. That paper should be distinctly visible to you, when you wake up in the morning. You can choose to paste it in your study. This paper works like a “MOTIVATION BOOSTER” for your gray matter, it will help in channelizing your energy into things you want to achieve.

Step 4: Now, that you have relaxed your gray matter and got your priorities right and even got a motivation booster for yourself. It’s time to leap into your “Plan of Action”. Discipline and perseverance are inevitable ingredients; which you need to retain in this process. You have to work diligently towards your goal. Take a minute break, every hour to remind yourself of your goals and priorities. You may, ask me. Why a minute reminder? It’s because every time you do it, it signals your brain to be more focused. This in turn will make you more disciplined. Simple and easy concept, isn't it? J

Step 5: I like to call this step “self-counselling and energy retention process” Why energy retention? It’s like having a same flavoured biscuits every day. Confused? Let me make it simple for you. When we work or motivate ourselves to work hard, our energy may be short lived or you may get bore of trying the same stuffs every day (like eating a same flavoured biscuit).After a short phase the energy may evaporate leaving you drained and exhausted. You may, feel like giving up. This should not happen. For this you need to innovate and experiment with the flavours of your choice. Experiment and see which activities can act as driving force or inculcate the attitude of motivation within you. For me reading inspiring auto- biographies, documentaries, books and talking to inspiring friends, helps a lot in getting motivated. You can chose yours’.once you identify your strengths, sky is your limit. J

Hello friends, I hope my article on "FIVE EASY WAYS TO GET MOTIVATED" will help you. If you like my post and want to give your opinion than plz do leave your comments. You can even drop in your messages in my Facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. Until then bye tk cr. LOVE YOURSELF AND STAY MOTIVATED……J

Simple and easy four step meditation process by which you can connect with your mind,body and soul and rejuvenate yourself !!!!!!

 The world in which we live today is full of commotions, everybody has their own set of dreams and aspirations, we are constantly running after our dreams, we are  always in communication with other, our mind is filled with thoughts form various angles of our life, our mind is full of our own set of tensions, anxieties, happiness, fear. people from every field of life face this whether you are big or small, rich or poor, male or female .communication is something which you cant  avoid, even if you are not communicating with others, you are constantly communicating with yourself, your  brain is never at rest. like we go for detoxification plans for our body, our brain which is the most efficient part of our body also needs a process by which u can gain mental peace, a process by which we can connect with our mind, body and soul and rejuvenate ourselves.

Dear friends, today I am going to teach you simple steps by which you can relax your brain, remember this is not full -fledged meditation.meditation needs to be done under the supervision of trained teacher,you need to be very disciplined while doing it.my  simple brain exercise is inspired by sum forms of meditation, if u have 15 minutes to spare every day you are ready to go for my colour meditation. Why I have nicknamed my exercise as colour meditation because we  will deal with colours while practicing it

Step 1 :Maintaining a disciplined life is very important, arrange your schedule  in such a way that you  get at least 8 hours of sound sleep, wake up by 6 am in the morning. If u have a habit of doing some exercises in the morning  that will be an added advantage for you.

 step 2: After finishing your exercise, go for colour meditation. Sit in a crossed legged position, if you cannot sit in a crossed legged position, you can simply sit on a  chair. There is no such restrictions for it, but make sure that your spinal cord is straight while u sit. Stooping, bending forward, or sitting lethargically while practicing it is a wrong way of doing it.

  

 step 3: close your eyes and begin to inhale and exhale, slowly inhale with your nose and exhale with it, don’t let any thoughts seep in your mind, simply relax. connect with your inner self. Feel your heart beat, forget al the tensions of your life. When you are practicing it for the first time you will feel that you are unable to block the thought process from coming into your mind. Random thoughts will come in your mind like, you are getting late for your work, you have to complete your household chores, bla, bla bla…., but you need to clear your mind from all such thoughts. simply concentrate in your breathing. And connect with your inner-self . Initially you will have problems controlling your thoughts but with regular practice you will gain mastery over this art. practice this for five minutes.

      

   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 step 4: Now moving to our part of colour meditation, continue with breathing in and out. Imagine yourself in a white attire in a room with whitewalls, sitting in a crossed legged  position. Now slowly fill the room with your imaginations with the things of your choice, for eg; u can fill the side of your room with a beautiful vase of your choice, you can choose the flowers of your choice, remember to choose colours that soothes you and your brain, fill the room with positivity and positive colours (choose colours like aqua blue, marine green and mostly light colours)   you can experiment with colours of your choice and can fill various corners of your rooms with various article and colours, but try to avoid colours which can create negativity to your mind, and the article with which you are filling your empty room of imagination should mostly be related to nature  . Now that you have completed colouring your imaginary world, slowly open your eyes. But remember while you are filling the room of your imagination with colours it should be your imagination filling up the room, you should be sitting in a crossed legged position In your imagination, let your mind do the working. Initially practice this for five minutes, but u can slowly increase the duration to 10 minutes, when you start enjoying it u can even practice  it twice a day.

   

                                                                                                         Now thank almighty three times  for whatever he has given you, love your surroundings, love yourself, build positive attitude towards people and environment, have a positive attitude towards life .Don't let any negative thoughts overpower you.  Now you can go back to your normal work, remember  to practice colour meditation every day, if you want to energize your life and de-stress your brain. After practicing it for a month you will definitely feel the difference yourself. :)

                                                                                                       hey frenz, I hope you liked my post, plz give your valuable feedback. I will come soon with my new post ''EASY STEPS TO DEAL WITH POST BREAK-UP SYNDROMES'' until than stay updated byee take care. :)