GROWING UP.....

Reflecting on the backdrop of incidences; 2013 was a year encompassed with nerve-wracking experiences which will leave an everlasting impression on my life. I was tossed under strong whirlpool of nightmares, which had slowly started to engulf the life within me. In short my life was in crisis; I was famished for happiness. My soul was aching to rediscover the vibrant, fun loving and confident person; I once used to be.  No matter how hard I tried, the emotional agony, I was inflicted with refused to leave me. That was when I found writing to be of some relief; I could easily vent my emotions without needing anyone to lend their ears to my emotional state of mind.

Sometimes when the grieving incidence of the present haunts me, I just close my eyes and go back to my childhood days spent in small village of Assam. Life wasn’t either easy there. Being a forest land; bordering Assam and Bhutan, my village was notorious for cradling terrorist, smugglers and some village goons. With no access to proper infrastructure, our village didn’t have water supplies and we had to live on the mercy of our neighbouring country for it. During the times of turmoil, I have seen my family toil hard even to get drinking water. In our village male members of the house had to travel miles to fetch drinking water from the river. While, the females of the household had to walk to the nearest drain like canal to wash cloths and if the water was scarce then they had to even take bath in the filthy water. The canal water would be filled with dirt’s and carcass of dead animals. There was a temple facing the canal and on the way to canal there were butcher shops, where everyday hundreds of slaughters took place. Not to talk about the slaughter of human life. But, the goddess of the temple stood silent in her porch so much like the people of the village. Deaths and murders had become so trivial issues that even children of our village were no longer terrorised by the sound of gun fire. Children of our village had matured more than their age and I know I was one of them.

We had one government school, where the teachers refused to show their face. The walls of the government school were like a crumpling monument, which housed climbers, lizards, insects, dogs and their fossils but not students. Thanks, to a kind educated lady who had started a primary school in my village which was a ray of hope to young children of the village, like me. I remember days when my brother and I were made to sit in veranda to study till the last speck of light of dusk as our village didn’t have electricity. My mother being an educated lady valued the importance of education. No matter the external conflicts going around in my village. I and my brother were made to sit on the bed with a lamp placed on cardboard beside us; we had to stoop to see the books and to get the alphabets correct on the faint dim light of lamp. Another terror apart from the terrorist which struck my village every year was Malaria. Every year malaria; would claim uncountable lives with vicious indifference and apathy. Every summer dispensaries would be packed with sick children, women and men regardless of their status. Summer would bring in the news of malaria sometimes devouring an entire family and leaving uncountable children orphaned. I myself have escaped death many times. My nine years of childhood days were spent battling malaria; due to my Midas fate and never give up attitude, I somehow managed to defeat malaria, but now I have realized that it has come to challenge my immunity to a great extent.

In spite of being in a place full of tensions and turmoil, my childhood days were something to cherish. There was certain calmness which has indeed become very hard for me to find now. I still remember running around my grandpa’s orchids wildly. What a carefree life it was. Sliding on hays meant for cows to discovering hidden treasures inside the tyres kept in the dirty store-room. I remember plotting a scene where my elder brother would act like a pirate, he had even painted his tooth black with marker and another fellow had used a broken glass found discarded on store-room, to give a wicked pirate feel. We had made boats out of tyres' and every time those wicked pirate would threaten us by moving the tyre, me and my friends would shudder with fear. On monsoons we would be ready with our paper boats to sail it in the puddle outside our veranda. But sadly now, I cannot even sail through a small puddle of my life’s trials and tribulations. As I open my eyes I realise life had so much struggles in the past as well. But I had not failed to appreciate its tiny delights at such a tender age. Coming back to my present state now I can truly understand my present situation and it brings a smile on my face because now I know that I am GROWING UP….. 

PS: MY deeply embedded thought....

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'' LIFE IS LIKE THAT ''

'' There was a very famous restaurant and the owner of the restaurant had instructed the waiter to give an equal hospitality to each and every customer that came by. One day the waiter saw a poor beggar helpless and hungry. So, out of pity the waiter fed the beggar. The beggar was overwhelmed by the compassion shown by the waiter and was indebted to the waiter. The beggar never forgot the waiter, but the irony of the situation was that it hardly made any difference to the waiter because for him the beggar was one the regular person he'd met in his everyday life,he had stopped to help the beggar out of pity... I guess life is like that;
'' sometimes we find ourselves in the shoes of the waiter and sometimes in the shoes of the beggar.'' The thing is just that it sometimes rips our soul when we have to play the role of the beggar. But now i know that's called life and it's full of experiences 

This wonderful philosophical view was shared by one of my friend, over a cup of tea 


PS: A thought on Sunday

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'' FINDING OUR REFLECTION IN SOMEONE ELSE ''

Finding a reflection -

I have been blogging since July, 2013 and some 4 months back a reader had commented on  my motivational post and had expressed his opinion about “ FINDING OUR REFLECTION IN SOMEONE ELSE.’’ We exchanged our opinions and after what it seemed like a never ending self-opined debate from both the sides. Our comments ended with a smiley. I had forgotten about all this, but  few days back our conversation came back ringing into my mind and it buzzed like “Finding our reflection in someone else’’

Everyone has their own unique characteristics and identities. We have our own fair share of struggles and sufferings. We shall not forget about happy moments too. Yah! I know we tend to emphasise more on our struggles rather then happy moments experienced by us. In this journey we do make close acquaintance with friends, colleagues’ close kin’s. There are people whom we may have known for ages but still find it very difficult to communicate. Speaking our mind and heart with them may seem like venturing into unknown territory full of doubts. And, sometimes we end up setting a chord with a person whom we have known just for a while. They are the kind of people who have seen the world through the same lens. Tough the intensity or circumstances of pain may have been varied. But it’s with people who has been in the same shoes we can vent our problems without embarrassment. They are the ones who listen to our emotional agony with compassion and empathy. They inspire us selflessly without being judgmental. Their words spread as a healing balm to our bruised soul and you breathe a new lease of life with their unconditional support and affection. That’s when we end up making a relation for lifetime. Though, the journey of life may evaporate their presence. But on a low sultry summer day when you close your eyes with heavy heart, you will strongly recollect the glory of having met “your true reflection someday’’

  

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''THE GIRL WHO ALWAYS GOT DEFECTIVE PIECES''

Nilu was a studious, shy and introvert girl. Right from childhood she would shy off from talking to people. As she grew up her friend circle would often mistake her to be an arrogant one. But she was a humble, kind-hearted and was gentle as a lamb. She was fond of self communion; she was in fact a day dreamer. She would have close circle of friends which included only girls, with whom she used to confide some of her secrets, fantasies and her future ambitions. At heart she was a fun-loving girl.

She hailed from a middle class family. Despite this Nilu’s parents treated her like princess. They would never compromise on her upbringing. She was sent to the best school in the town, provided best attires and given modern amenities and studying facilities, which could only be afforded by kids belonging to rich social status.

But, there was strangeness to Nilu’s luck. Whenever she purchased anything new it would have slight defectiveness to it. Though she would be very careful in selecting stuff’s for herself, it can rather be called as her fate that she would always land up buying pieces, which would turn out to be defective. The defective quotient was not only limited to things she purchased for herself but the gifts she received from her parents would always have sum defects. She would discover holes in shawl of her newly bought dress; sometimes her newly bought shoes bore scratches and marks. She was very well aware of her defective luck and could not ignore it. She would get agitated and hurt and sometimes even questioned God for her defective luck.The incident that moved her most was the day she got her first mobile on her 19^th birthday and after 3 days of using it, she had to exchange that phone because it showed a defective Camera.

When she was in college she met a guy, who was humble and caring. He was the first person in her life she thought who had boosted her confidence and appreciated the beauty of her heart; she fell in love with him. After 3 years of loving relationship her guy broke-up with her without even giving her an explanation. He refused to communicate to her. There was a non-committal silence from his side; which exhausted all her patience. Neither was there last minute sobbing nor final goodbye to seal everything. She tried her level best to save her relationship. She tried to cling to the relationship by reminding him of the past flair of their love. But the more she tried to grip her bond the more it went sliding between her fingers like a gravel of sand, there came a point that the ignorance level grew to such extent and the relationship went so bitter that she decided to walk out. The break-up came to shatter her confidence totally, she hated herself, and she felt that the break-up was attributed due to her looks. She felt her defective luck and her average looks were reason for her break-up. She refused to speak to her friends and family and would lock herself on the pretext of poor health.

She gave up her appetite which made her pale from months of fasting. From a confident fun loving person she had been reduced to a nervous creature. The emotional malaise, with which she was inflicted, refused to leave her. 

Seeing this, her mother decided to confront her. After few unsuccessful denials she finally revealed the secret of her break-up. She even mentioned that she thought herself to be very unlucky and inferior. Her mother; a sensible lady, with an eye of experiences counselled her. Nilu’s mother politely told her that ‘she shouldn’t believe in superstitions like such’. She explained her that the defective pieces were only limited to materialistic things she got and received and she should thank the almighty for revealing the true façade of the person who was not defective in his physical attributes but in his thoughts and communication which were uncharacteristically defective. She asked her, how her life would shape into, if fate wouldn’t be fateful and not divulged the true colours of that guy before it was too late. It’s very hard to spend your whole life with a person who cannot share the bond of communication with you. The phase that you experienced my child may be love for you, whereas it might just have been a mere infatuation for the other person. So, it was wise to forgive and forget….

Her mother told her-

Nilu my child, “you have a beautiful life waiting for you ahead.’’

You may encounter problems worst and severe than this, but one has to be strong and never fail to explore and discover your inner beauty and beauties surrounding you. When life throws you into challenges like this you should take it as a learning experience and not let it affect you characteristically. Lacking in confidence, zest to live and feeling inferior are experienced mostly by weak person; I know my brave Nilu is braver than I think her to be.

                                                       

story written by jessica reddiar                                                                                                                         

Dear readers, I hope you liked my little fictional story. You can follow me on my facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91?ref=hl and now on twitter as well Plz feel free to leave your comments and feedback. Until den stay happy and spread happiness….  Ps: love u J

 

Note: This is a work of fiction .All characters and events are totally imaginary.

JEALOUSY: “AN ILLEGAL SMUGGLERS OF OUR HAPPINESS”

 

How often have you experienced a wave of emotion, stabbing you sharply somewhere down your heart? I can say whenever we experience these sorts of emotion, we feel; we have been robbed of something, something which is impossible to get hold of, making us feel totally helpless. JEALOUSY- a thought in a negative frequency, which may not always come out as an outburst but rots inside our mind/heart, suffocating us with its pungent stench. – Jessica rediar

Now, you may ask me a question; how come, I am so sure that jealously is a negative feeling? I say of course it isJ. Do you experience the feeling of joy, positivity, happiness, contentment when you are jealous of someone? The answer to it is No. Some thoughts can be a root cause of our sorrows and uneasiness. These kinds of thoughts; even if its retained in our mind for short period of time may be harmful and is therefore a negative thought. So, jealousy is a negative feeling, not that we cannot control our thoughts of jealousy, we may have on particular person and his situations or his/her luck.

 THE COMMON REASONS FOR JEALOUSY: COMPARISON

Jealousy may be an outcome of comparison; when we compare ourselves with others (for eg: you may think Mr. Xyz has a nice house, car, perfect health ,loving and adoring wife, lovely kids while I lack in each and every sphere. At this point of time you may create a negative thought for that person, I hate that person. Mr.Xyz is flaunting is wealth and so on… Here, the problem doesn’t lies with Mr. Xyz or him flaunting his riches. It was because of our thoughts of jealousy that led us to dislike an innocent person)

One of my best friends had a break-up recently. She would call me to tell me what her ex-boyfriend did in facebook. She would check her notification every day, to see what he did on facebook. She had a track of each and every new friend he made along with their history, likes, schooling, and location. Moreover the situation worsened when he would make any comment on a picture of any girl. She would call me crying telling how her ex had liked and commented on a picture of a girl. While, he least bothered to even ask her, how she was? She would, cruse and hate the girl. She was jealous and hurt. Here, the problem with my friend was she was holding a naive girl and her ex responsible for her sorrows, while she herself was responsible for her sorrows. The jealousy she had was responsible for her sorrows. Sometimes it is very important for us to view things according to the perspective of others. With my friend and her boyfriend’s break-up, it was expected from my friends ex to move normally with his life, which my friend found very difficult to accept. She was boiling with jealousy and in-fact tormenting and troubling herself.

  It is very important for us to realise that jealousy can do us no good .The sooner we clear ourselves of this feeling, the better. J

Most of us might think lack of jealousy for any person or situation may make us less “AMBITIOUS”. I totally disagree with this sort of thinking.

 Let me give you an example of two best friends, A and B. Both A as well as B were exceptionally good in studies. Both very ambitiously started preparing for their 10^th standard exam. But, there was slight difference in thinking way of both. A was jealous of B. while preparing for exams, A always was scared and would get restless thinking B would out-do her in terms of rank . While, B concentrated on her studies and always resorted to improve her performance than her previous term. She would happily prepare for her exams without bothering for anybody’s rank or position. Both appeared for their exams. Report was out and both A and B scored 89%.But, do you think both were equally happy and enjoyed their process of studying? I don’t think so. A’s thought of jealousy for B; deprived her of the joy and enjoyment she could have experienced, if she would have prepared for her exams with much dedication to herself rather than being jealous of her friend’s progress.

So, friends life’s like that we sometimes deprive ourselves of the joy and happiness, by letting negative thoughts of jealousy to invade our mind and hamper our whole system .It’s impact in our life can be so grave and severe. It can sometimes paralyse our just and rational way of thinking, making us do things which can never be abated nor any sort of repentance can justify or undo our actions. So, one should always be mindful of one’s thinking process. We should always try to avoid being jealous of anyone because jealousy will stab us viciously and will drain the blood of happiness from us and will make us Anaemic and lifeless forever J

Dear readers, I hope you liked my way of depicting this article on “JEALOUSY-AN ILLEGAL SMUGGLER OF OUR HAPPINESS” with the help of examples. These examples are inspired by real life but I have chosen not to name the characters in order to keep their privacy intact. Here, I have made an effort to cite that jealousy is in fact the parasite of happiness.

NOTE FROM WRITER (Jessica Rediar ) : With loveJ

Buddies, you may hold different perspective on the topic of jealousy. Which situations may lead to the thoughts of jealousy in different persons and their intensity and degrees is totally a subjective issues, which is why I have chosen to keep this subjective issues asideJ. In this article I have simply made a point that jealousy is an illegal smuggler of our happiness therefore the thoughts and feelings of jealously should immediately be discarded and closed forever. J

      

 

Friends, I hope you liked reading my article. Please feel free to share it if you like it. Your comments and opinions are heartily welcomedJ. I love to hear from you all, you can also drop in your messages in my facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. Until then stay happy, spread happiness and stay healthy tk cr J

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EASY TO MAKE- LEMON RICE RECIPE

Are you sick of eating bread or simple curry and rice after your hard day at work? I was almost dead because of eating the old simple recipes, which kept changing its turn in my menu. Until, I found a palatable and easy to make lemon rice recipe to my rescue, which I eat once in 'a while'. when I am too lethargic to cook and when my taste bud demands something yummy and different J

Lemon rice is a popular south Indian cuisine, mostly eaten for lunch. What I like most about preparing this dish is that the ingredients are very easy on availability and it takes barely 10-8 minutes to prepare lemon rice.

Ingredients:

2 tbsp oil.

5-6 curry leaves.

Pinch of mustard seed.

Pinch of Turmeric powder (haldi)

Salt, as per taste.

 Lemon juice (cut 1 or 2 lemon) if you like tangy taste you can take 2 lemons.

Roasted or fried peanuts as per your taste

Cooked rice 250 Grams

METHOD:

STEP 1: Heat a non-stick pan and put oil. Add mustard seed, curry leaves, turmeric powder and salt and stir for about a minute. Now add lemon juice and stir for 30 seconds.

STEP 2: Now, add cooked rice, roasted peanuts in the frying pan and mix well.

Easy to make and tasty lemon rice is ready in no time. Serve hot with curry or curd mixed with onion. Well for me there is no hard -core rule: D.I, like to relax in my living room and savour the taste of lemon rice with a cup of freshly brewed hot coffee J

Hello friends, I hope you all will enjoy the taste of lemon rice. Please give me your feedback after preparing the recipe. You can even drop in your messages in my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. For more such easy to make and yummy recipes click in the food section of my blog on the top of the heading section. Until than bye tk cr and “CELEBRATE BEING A FOODIE” J 

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF ISOLATION ? " FIVE EASY WAYS TO DEAL WITH ISOLATION "

“Isolation” the word itself brings a shudder down our spine. We generally tend to associate the feeling of being isolated, loneliness as some kind of mental disease. Especially in today’s jet paced pragmatic life, talking about isolation and loneliness has become a taboo. You might feel inferior when you talk about your feelings of isolation, as you may not find people in the same rhythm. You may come across people who are totally ambitious, running after wealth and prospering in their career. So, it may seem futile to talk to people because you may think that they have never been on your shoes. But the problem here doesn't lie with the people around us. It’s within us. Well, we shouldn't be ashamed of our inner feelings. There is no harm in feeling lonely or isolated, every one of us experience loneliness from time to time. Now a question occurs. How do we know that we are experiencing loneliness? Well, our feelings are a direct transmitter of our emotions. For e.g.: Think of your birthday celebration, with the person you love most in your life. Now check your feelings; your happiness will be at its peak, you will experience a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment. Now reverse the scenario, imagine a situation when the person you love most, misses your birthday and even forgets to wish you. Now re-check your feeling, you probably will be oozing with sadness and disappointments. Loneliness comes not necessarily when you're alone, but when you feel as if you don't have someone who really knows you and supports you.

Tormented childhood, bullying by mates, facing ragging during school and college days, break-ups, abusive relationships and marriages, facing constant failures in life, isolation and solitude during old age may be the reasons for experiencing “ISOLATION” in life.

Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted – common symptoms of loneliness.                                        
                      One may have a negative attitude toward relationships.

·        Waking up every morning with a feeling of sadness and going off to bed with a same sad feeling.

·     The reason of your sadness lingers on your brain 24x7. No matter how hard you try to avoid those thoughts cropping in your mind; it’s persistent and very stubborn and refuses to leave your mind.

·        Crying and sobbing helplessly for hours.

·        Losing focus, ambitions and zest to work.

·        Feeling of despair about your friendships.

·        Feeling sad about lack of friends.

·        Feelings of anger when other people are happy.

·        The general feeling that you aren't part of "the crowd" or "a group."

·        Feeling as if you aren't accepted in the world.

                          Feeling as if you are "too different" to have friends

       The sooner you identify your problems of isolation, the better J

Now, let me give you a brief idea on what we mostly do, to overcome loneliness. We literally push ourselves into world of activity. Keeping ourselves busy becomes the ultimate motto of our life. We throw ourselves into work, we may even think, “I want to be so busy that I shouldn't have time even to breathe also.” And, what most of us might experience when we dive into series of activities is that we may feel happy and changed due to certain new activities, for first few days. But after few days you might experience those suppressed feelings of yours’ attacking you viciously and crippling your confidence totally. The change will be short-lived because all this while what you try to do is suppress your feelings into the bondage of work. Perhaps, this is because you don’t want to slow down enough to fully realize how lonely you are. (Relax friends; I know keeping ourselves busy can help us overcome our loneliness to some extent. But, if you don’t want to give yourself time to breath, how will you live? ).

Please, don’t live a mechanical life. You should realize the ill effects of constantly agonizing yourself. You may be the victim of depression. You may want to seek relief through drug addiction and alcohol.You should totally avoid such kind of circumstances in your life. Just because you had to experience something bad and tormenting in your life, doesn't mean that you will stop living. Friends, I will guide you through “5 easy ways to deal with isolation”.

JOIN A COURSE- Enroll yourself for some profession or vocational course. The major benefit of it is that you are exposed to a stringent time table. That leaves less time for you to wander your thoughts in negative directions. Joining a class exposes you to group of people and help you inculcate the bond of friendships with fellow class mates. Joining a class gives you a purpose and new direction to your life along with the feeling of self-worth.

MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND RE-ESTABLISH THE LOST CAMARADERIE WITH YOUR OLD BUDDIES -True friends can come as a savior at times of loneliness. You may be surrounded by many friends, yet you may feel lonely (let me give you an example; it’s like being in a musical theatre without hearing and feeling the melody. Life is also like that; you may be surrounded by scores of friends but if you cannot connect to them you won’t able to share your feelings and enjoy your bond). So, make an effort to deepen your connections with your friends and family members.

GET A PET –Get a pet; a dog or a cat. Getting a pet is a great way to shoo away loneliness from your life. Your new addition to your family will brighten up your life and keep you on your heels :D. You will be left to discover new traits and mood swings of your new pet, leaving you overwhelmed and happy from within. Besides, pets provide you their unconditional and selfless love which comes as a healing balm for loneliness.

VOLUNTEER – you can choose to volunteer for a cause you believe in. The cause will link you to many new people. Where, you can meet people who share at least one of your interests. Be a part of group activities and services. Low self-esteem is one of the major symptoms that loneliness accompanies with it. Being a part of a cause will in fact give boost your confidence and fill you with contentment. Moreover serving people who are less privileged than you will help you to value what you have in life.

YOU CAN FIND FRIENDS ONLINE- In today’s virtual world one can look for support online. You may not know your neighbour living next door, but will be connected to unknown persons living miles away from you. All thanks to the magic of the internet J. You can find lasting friendship and real support from people you meet online. You can even create community page online and add your friends and folks which may serve as loneliness fighter and give you some new zest in life. However you should be very cautious as to whom you share your personal information over the internet.

Hello friends, I hope my article will help you. If you like my article, feel free to share it J. Your comments and opinions are heartily welcomed; you can even drop in your feedback and messages in my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ExploringMyLittleWorld91. I love to hear from you all J. Until than love yourself, stay healthy and spread happiness. Bye tk cr J